Right said Fred, both of us together, 
One each end and steady as we go
Tried to to shift it, couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so, we, had a cup of tea

Right said Fred, give a shout to Charlie
Up comes Charlie from the floor below
After straining, heaving and complaining
We was getting nowhere
And so, we, had a cup of tea

Charlie had a think and he thought we ought
To take off all the handles
And the things that hold the candles
But it did no good,
Well I never thought it would

Right said Fred, have to take the feet off
To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo
Took its feet off, even with the seat off
Should got us somewhere but no
So Fred said lets have another cup of tea
And we said right-o

Right said Fred, have to take the door off
Need more space to shift the so and so
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges
And it got us nowhere
And so, we, had a cup of tea

Right said Fred, have to take the wall down
That there wall is gonna have to go
Took the wall down, even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so, we, had a cup of tea

Charlie had a think and and he said look Fred
I've got a sort of feeling
If we remove the ceiling
With a rope or two we can drop the blighter though

Right said Fred, climbing up a ladder
With his crowbar gave a mighty blow
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble
Landed on the top of his dome
So Charlie and me had another cup of tea
And then we went home

"I said to Charlie we'll just have to leave it standing on the landing 
that's all.
You see the trouble with Fred is he's too hasty
Now you never get nowhere if you're too hasty."
